Prelude

Kyilaliana flopped to the ground, exhausted from their recent ordeal. The others discussed their next course of action but their voices seemed far away, like a dream. Her mind drifted between the past and present, unfocused and unsettled.

The spider's nest was destroyed, smoke drifting lazily from the trapdoor where they'd dropped down another burning flask of oil just to make sure nothing was left to chance. The thoroughness of their actions brought the past racing back as though it were yesterday, the horror still fresh in her mind.

It had been a short time after her seventy-fifth birthday; still a child really and unable to wrap her young mind around the gravity of the situation that would befall her home. The elven village that lay deep in the forest had fallen prey to a large hive of spiders that had taken up residence unnoticed; they had swarmed in, in search of food and overran a third of the village before resistance could be organized.

Driven back, the full impact fell heavily upon Kyilaliana; still and quiet was her heart as she watched her older sister cradle their brother's lifeless body in her arms, her elvish curses unknown to such young ears. The blood ran thick amongst them and it was difficult to identify their friends from what were now corpses. A war party had been quickly formed and later Kyilaliana had learned that the spider's lair had been burnt to the ground.

Still, she had never forgot what she had seen that day and had sworn a blood oath that her brother's death would always be avenged, even if it meant unbalancing the form of nature by exterminating every last spider in the wood outside the treants’ grove. And now, she'd had the opportunity to serve that vengeance and strangely she felt no satisfaction.

This nest was no longer a threat and no one would suffer as those had in the past but it brought forth the realization that such destruction would not bring back those who had died. Their victory had left Kyilaliana hollow in the knowledge that more would die eventually elsewhere and she could not prevent such a force of nature, despite how evil she might deem it, from taking it's due course. She could only fight back the tears.

Rising from the depths of her thoughts, she was again aware of the din of the party and focused on Polrada and T.A. as they fawned over each other. Pol had seemed as though Maglor's sudden departure had left a hole inside her and her outrageous flirtations had been even more agressive as though she were attempting to distract herself from her pain. Kyilaliana was suddenly aware of a jealously flowing through her as she watched to two of them take physical comfort in one another.

But distinguishing the root of her emotional distress left her confused; she could not decide what had upset her more. Polrada's gravitation towards the men left Kyilaliana feeling like she'd lost a sister; she so desperately wanted Pol to hold her after the spider ordeal and felt closer to no one since she'd left home. But she also recognized her erupting feelings for T.A.; twice during their journey, T.A. had comforted her when she'd been upset and even held her in his arms. The embrace had been so...tender. Warmth spread throughout her even at the recollection of the moment and she blushed terribly, turning her face away from them. She felt so torn having feelings for both of them and not being able to admit to either of them what stirred in her heart.

She tucked her feelings away deep inside and tried to convince herself that what she felt would not complicate her relationship with either Polradia or T.A. She knew that she could not choose between them.

Polradia sauntered wearily to the campfire someone had already started, and flung her new bow to the ground. Hands akimbo on her hips, she surveyed the scene and realized the day had been an emotional one from hell (but what was new?), and also, a good one in some respects. She certainly seemed to be regaining some of the confidence the group had lost in her.

She watched Spag, setting up watch and the defenses for the night. Head cocked sideways, she wondered what it must be like to have to be responsible for the safety of the entire group—smiling, she realized, she was glad it was not her. It filled her with pleasure at how well she had actually managed to get along with "mon general" that day.They seemed to be reaching some sort of peaceful accord. He started treating her more gently and in return, she had been trying very hard to "follow orders", no easy thing for her. She felt that today had been one of their finest, and she felt a sense of gratitude, as she knew patience was not an easy thing for Spag.

All of a sudden she felt a pain in her heart, a deep sorrow.Seeing that Vren had broken out the pipe, she strolled over, taking several deep draws.Feeling the familiar warmth and sense of well being wash over her, she relaxed. By the gods what a heaven sent gift the weed was. Immediately her sorrow faded into a dim distance, barely noticed feeling. Ahh... so nice to be robbed of feeling the feelings, no anxiety,no sorrow, just...floating away... how splendid to be able to run away and hide from yourself.

She grinned broadly as her gaze fell on the beautiful T.A. Gods what a handsome man, and so unlike Maglor, and so much like Rigel...her thoughts were clouded, but even under the haze of the drug, she thought of Maglor. She was still aware of how hurt and how bitter she felt. What a fool am I, she thought, to have ever believed that jerk bard and his pretty words. He never loved me at all, just wanted to use me, use my body, a nice little diversion, while all the time, his heart belonged to another. Saying it was me he loved. How stupid was I to ever believe a word of it.

Bitting back tears she looked away, she sighed, of course how could anyone possibly love one such as me? So stupid of me to ever think that...a whore I was and a whore I will always be -- street garbage, a throw away kid...of all people I should have known it was not so, idiot that I am!

The others had wanted to leave markers to point their way for Mag, something he would recognize. Remembering those stupid flowers Mag had picked for her and that she had stupidly cherished and carried in her pack, she had given them to the group to use. Personally I could care less, she fumed, bitting back tears, if I ever lay eyes on him again. Good riddance, I am just as likely to shoot him myself.Still, she had not given all the flowers to the group -- she had saved one... ought to get rid of the damn thing. And so often throughout the day, especially with the talking tree and that, she had thought of Maglor and how much he would have loved it. Well goodbye and good riddance...and I will get over it!

She made a bee line for Vren again, taking a few deep draws yet again on his pipe, burying the pain once and for all.

Eyes glinting mischievously, she walked up behind TA and encircled him from behind, pressing her body against his. And started kissing the back of his neck, nibbling at his ear, lifting the back of his shirt and blowing down his back. Then, hands never leaving him she followed the kisses around until she stood in front and running her hands along his back, pressed her hips into his, and kissed him long and lingeringly. Quickly she glance up and noted Brother Grish hopping up to intervene, and the others looking on with interest. But what caught her eye was Kyil..

Pol stopped almost in mid kiss, as she saw Kyilaliana hunched miserably all by herself. More importantly, Pol saw pain and loneliness and...she remembered now Kyil’s pain and fear in the spider cave. Ahh how thoughtless of me, so wrapped up in myself that I did not realize how badly my sister needs me. Taking each hand of T.A.'s in her own, she kissed the palms and insides of his wrists, and then smiling, she left him and walked over to Kyil.

She sat down next to Kyil and taking her into her arms. Pol spoke gently "ahh Kyil, I am so sorry, such a hard time it was for you -- " and tenderly she rocked the young Kyil in her arms, feeling some of the tension subside from the girl.

Still, sensing Kyil’s need to talk, Polradia took out a brush and some blue, green and red ribbons (just the color to set off Kyil's beautiful blond hair). Then, she took down Kyil's hair and began to brush and brush till it was a soft, silky sheen. All the while, she talked to Kyilaliana, gently pulling Kyil's sad story from her, hoping that the mere telling would at least ease the pain some.

As Kyil completed her story, Pol began to weave an intricate braid with the ribbons, weaving them skillfully in and out through Kyil's hair making Kyil beautiful and colorful to behold. Then, as she finished and Kyil finished her tale, Pol could see how emotionally spent and exhausted the young elf was -- still sad -- but the emotions and feelings had spent themselves out, bringing a peace of sorts.

Smiling, Pol made a pillow for the girl, and lying on her side, next to Kyil, Pol covered them both up to keep warm, much as she had ever done for her younger brothers and sister. And she continued to stroke Kyil's brow and sing the gentlest elven lullabies she knew till Kyil at last fell asleep. Smiling sadly, Poltenderly stroked Kyils' now sleeping head, and as she did, Polradia's own tears finally found their way to the surface, dampening Kyil's newly braided hair. Silently and quitely Pol wept, the campfire blurring because of her tears. She wondered why life had to always bring such pain with it. And there, her lying next to the sleeping Kyil, cradling the young elf in her arms, Pol at last fell asleep.

Seeing that she didn’t need the pipe anymore tonight, Vren sat by himself and silently watched the group. But his mind was elsewhere. As the elf puffed on his pipe and stared into the night in thought, a strange little verse occured to him...

Night doth fall and stars doth rise,
Who knows where Maglor's future lies,
He walks alone and we as well,
Without his lead we shall travail,
Though darker still the road might be,
I cannot help to think of thee,
We miss your spirit large and kind,
But at least we're spared incessant rhymes!

The Journals of T.A. Grimbergen
Entry #1, 8/3/18792

Ah, to finally have a journal once again. I never thought I'd start a diary again after I left my priestly training, but my experiences in the past few weeks have been, to say the least, too exciting to forget.

I think the primary reason for me wanting to write this down is I think I'm beginning to see Pol in a different way, beyond just the usual flirting and sexual innuendos. In some ways, I'm glad Maglor left, as Pol's attention is now fully fixated on me. What a rush!

But... as a friend, I must say I feel ashamed to take advantage of his absence. Athena forgive me for having such traitorous thoughts! But I am torn between the two, and with him gone indefinitely, what am I to do? She tempts me, and I cannot resist. Is it something more than just games with her? I cannot tell, for it seems she's played with the hearts of many men.

She struggles with her own love for him. And I tend to comfort her by telling her he'll return. But I wonder if I'm truthful about it, or is it to show that I am not being greedy of her love? In some ways I'm saying it to myself as it is to her, because every day that goes by without him, I lose faith in him returning.

Hopefully, this document will serve as an account of how things started between us - and even if nothing comes out of it, at least it'll make an interesting read down the road. I wish to also recount how I almost lost her, and that brought out an animal rage in me that rivaled Spag's (hopefully he'll never see this comment!).

It all started after we set up camp near the merchant's wagon (from whom I purchased this journal) after the spider incident. Poor Kyil! Every one of us seems to have a wounded past, but hers wounds are especially deep. I'm glad Polradia is consoling her. I try my best with her -- it pains my heart to see her hurt -- but I'm just not good with comforting women.

That night, Vren, my favorite smoking buddy, had reached a new understanding of magic and was able to unlock the secrets of a few new spells. He was looking for test subjects to experiment on, and of course I foolishly volunteered. Suddenly, I was transparent and I thought he had banished me to another plane! Then I realized it was a new invisibility spell.

It suddenly hit me -- I could now sneak up on Pol and return the wonderful little gifts of kisses and ear nibbles without the others, especially Grish, seeing this "amorous" side of me. Her delighted responses brought such joy to me, a refreshing feeling I've not ever felt.

The next day things began falling apart. Brother Grish woke up extremely ill, and implored us to move on without him. Given his age, an illness of that caliber would take some time to heal, and we left him with the merchant with a heavy heart. He needed time to rest and pray, and felt it better to do so alone.

First Maglor, and now Grish... I was having doubts about the integrity of the rest of the group. His piety was a constant reminder what I strove for, but he was also a reminder of how tainted my life was. I envied and respected him, and now I shall miss him much.

We traveled close to the road, but slightly off it as Trabulta had warned us to do. It was wise to heed him, as we've been waylaid by bandits on the road who were ambushing merchants and innocent travelers. As expected, we put an end to their criminal activities.

I didn't witness the start of the incident, but from what I gathered afterwards, here's what happened. Kyilaliana spotted a fisherman by himself in the riverbed just south of the road, and so Spag and Pol went to greet him. Apparently he was so fixated on his duties he didn't notice them, so when Polradia tapped him on the shoulder, the man thought he was besieged by outlaws (I would be too, if I didn't know that Spag was quite a civil quarter-orc).

The man drew a knife and lunged at Spag, and in the course of defending himself, Spag also killed him. It was a shame, but we took comfort that we did not enter the situation with hostilities in mind. In a way, it was good that Brother Grish did not witness this, as he would have undoubtedly scolded us for the brashness of the act.

We stopped and took some time to re-examine our motives and direction. Vren was the first to speak up with his usual wry comments and end the introspection.

"Onwards, then, before I lose my second wind."

"So out immediate goal is to head for Talas Talf. It should be the closest city," commanded Spag. "From there, we go on to Gudation."

"Ah... civilization," I said. The events of the past few days were wearing me out, and I made it known. "Hey, if Talas is a nice town, I might just retire and end all this dangerous adventuring. I'm already tired of this."

Vren stopped me from thinking about it further. "T.A., that would be a shame."

Knowing his love of the weed, I responded, "You mean you wouldn't mind just smoking and relaxing all day?"

"Now that you mention it -- "

"Let's move out!" commanded Spag, hurrying the group along.

Vren finished his thought. " -- no, no. There are too many magics in the world for me to study. There is much to still know."

"You elves have centuries to waste," Spag countered. "We humans, or close to human, don't have so much time."

"Plus, you can do it in the safety of a library. I might just retire to a life of fishing," I said, teasing Pol. "You love sneaking, don't you, you little sly kitty."

She shrugged and commented maybe it was just the sight of Spag, and he concurred.

Polradia came over and gave me a quick massage on the shoulders and some tender caressing from behind to demonstrate her sneaking prowess. Spag finally herded all of us on.

We didn't get very much farther when Kyil spotted another man trudging along ahead of us. He seemed hurt, or was doing a good job faking it. We approached cautiously, and the man looked wounded and ill and cried for our help.

"What is it, friend?" greeted Vren. "You do not look well."

"I...been poisoned...the orcs..." he sputtered. " -- don't think... I will make it home -- "

"O-orcs?" asked Kyil, as she tried to tend to his wounds with Vren. Polradia eyed him suspiciously, and readied an arrow.

"Aye... they-they have a cave..." He took a ring off a finger a folded Vren's blue hands around it. "Please... take my ring...to-to my mother..."

"Wh-where is the cave? And your mother?" asked Kyil.

"...very close by... I was headed home to the west... but I heard thee... please take my ring to her and tell her... you may keep any other gear you find on me -- " He collapsed after that, choking in his own blood.

Pol rummaged through his pack, and found some healing potions. At first I thought, if Grish had been here, perhaps he'd been able to heal him. But, if those healing potions would not have helped, maybe even Grish's prayers would have been too late.

We agreed to find his mother first and then deal with the orcs. Everyone, especially Spag, was furious at their horrific treatment of this man.

A few hours later, we found what looked like an inn sitting alone on the road. There was a boy playing outside near the well.

Kyil and Pol went to him, while I stuck close to her in case of any danger. You could never trust these woods. Spag made sure to keep away. They knelt down by the boy and greeted him.

He then poked me with a finger and said, "Oooo... you're real."

Kyil smiled at him and said, "Yes... we're real. Wh-why wouldn't we be?"

Pol stroked his hair and asked his name.

"Ooo... you have a gentle touch like my mom. My name's Parico. And ye?"

We all sat down and talked with the boy. Spag finally approached and took a drink from the well after inspecting the area. Vren pulled out his pipe and smoked, and the Parico was fascinated by it. He blew a few finds of smoke in the air, and the boy was overjoyed by the "magic stick."

There was a scream coming from the building, and we rushed in. The woman there seemed a bit unnerved, but calmed a little as she welcomed us. She introduced herself as Ella Wildent, and that she was surprised by our presence as there hadn't been visitors in a while. She offered room and board for a gold piece.

Vren decided to show her the ring, and Ella became immediately grief-stricken. He explained what happened as tears welled up in her eyes. She then seemed a little grateful that we had brought back his ring, and offered to cook us dinner and let us stay for free.

While she seemed sincere, Kyil sensed there was something out of place here, but she couldn't explain it. We began to sit around her dinner table as she explained more about the orc settlement nearby. I was just digging into the stew when I noticed Pol was not here. I went out looking for her, and thought of joining her for some fresh air.

But she wasn't outside. And while she wanders off a bit, she never strays too far, especially at night. Then it hit me -- she was probably rummaging through the rooms upstairs. I went back in and ascended with Spag.

The situation was even grimer. My dear Pol lay facedown in the hallway, two arrows in her back. A rough looking brigand, most likely her assassin, was dragging her lifeless body into one of the rooms.

Both of us pounced on him and even though he begged for mercy, there was none of it from us. We pummeled and made sure he suffered as he died.

Ella then ran up, and apologized for not telling us.

She knew this whole time!

I could not believe what I was hearing. The rogue had threatened her and Parico's lives, saying that they should keep quiet about his ambust. Pol was not breathing, already having turned blue from the loss of blood and internal damage. And Grish was not here to help! At that point I had had enough, and pulled out my katana, ready to strike her down. She got on her knees and pleaded, and also prayed to Athena.

I did not know this dark side of me existed, this horrible animal rage. I was shouting at the top of my lungs, and I raised my blade. Luckily, Spag saved me and Ella. He grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me against the wall, knocking some sense into me.

Then my goddess intervened. Pol coughed, and the color rushed back in her face. Kyil quickly administered some of the healing potion, removed the arrows, and began dressing the wound.

I was too ashamed to help. I could not believe I almost ended an innocent (but was she?) human life. Disgusted at my own actions, I ran into the room that I am currently writing this in. I think everyone realized I needed some time alone, and thus I have been undisturbed as I wrote this.

In my rashness, I forgot about the all the divine grace that I had been brought up to learn. I prayed for forgiveness, but I know no one will ever look at me the same. Perhaps the brotherhood did do the right thing when they kicked me out of the cloister.

The Journals of T.A. Grimbergen
Entry #2, 8/4/18792

When I awoke this morning I had no idea how to face them, especially Kyilaliana. I'm sure she was just as mortified as Ella to see me in such a state. Damn! Why can I not be more like Grish?

Anyhow, the others welcomed me as I came down, and things seemed to have been smoothed out between Ella and the others. Even Pol didn't appear angered at her. I had a bite to eat, and just avoided the subject.

We did not dally too long before going off to find the orc camp.

Arriving near the vicinity of where Ella believed them to be, we could find no trace of the orcs. We were deep in the unknown woods, and Kyil volunteered to reconnoiter the area alone and stealthily search out the orcs. While there was much reluctance, we all knew she had the skills, and more importantly, it was good to see her regaining confidence.

She returned a hour or so later, and asked for Polradia to help her with something. But she insisted Vren, Spag, and I stay behind, as us "heavy footed" types might attract too much attention.

This was going to be a slow day. I was fine with that. Yesterday was a little too much.

Vren, as usual, pulled out his pipe and lit up. The halfling weed freed his mouth, and he spoke. I was always happy to hear his musings.

"Her heart flutters like a feather on the wind."

I thought for a moment and countered. "Yes, that's why she needs some solid foundation to land on."

"If you say so, friend. You might be hurt by one so inclined."

"Bah!"

The Spag Hetti offered his view. "No offense Vren, but Grimbergen, you should look for a human mate."

"You don't know anything about elven maidens, Spag," I said, smiling.

"I know you would be long dead before they aged a day," he responded. "They don't see the world the same as we of a short life."

"Well, maybe I don't care. Love in my lifetime is all that matters," I said. I couldn't believe I made such a self-serving comment.

"So have you thought about the impact on her heart when you have passed away?" Vren brought up a good point, and I was stumped.

We sat there silently, just relaxing. Hours passed, and the two had been away too long. I couldn't stand to lose Pol again. So we headed in their general direction.

To my relief, they were heading back, and told us of the hidden cave entrance up a small hill, and led us there.

The caves were dark, but at least not as smelly as those troglodytes'. It appeared to be recently settled, and looked sparsely occupied. That was fine with me -- I did not want to deal with a horde.

Having fought orcs numerous times now, we knew their tactics (if you can call it that). The battles are always exciting, but too much to recount.

Anyhow, we made it to the inner sanctum, but surprisingly, it was devoid or protectors. There was a light trail of blood that led to a small hidden passageway from what looked like the chieftan's quarters. We headed in.

It was empty as well, except for a chest whose trap had been set off. An small arrow lay in a pool of blood, most likely the source of the trail. We found some gold and an awesome battle axe, most likely the absent orc chieftan's.

The blood perplexed us, and we followed it through the tight passageway. It led to the entrance of the caves. Then it dawned on me -- the blood was Ella's son's, and the arrow was the poisoned trap that took his life.

Satisfied that we had cleared the caves and avenged the young man, we headed back to the inn. Ella thanked us, implored us to stay another evening. I was grateful that I could atone somewhat for my actions the previous day.

Then the complications began. Pol was enjoying the sunset alone, and I decided to join her. She said some things to me... that I'm still trying to sort out. It was a long day and that was a not a pleasant end for it.